Before your tween or teen gets their first period, they will already be experiencing puberty driven body changes.
There are a few obvious body changes that start before they will begin to get menstrual cycles. Then, in the weeks before their first period arrives, there are other body changes they can look out for that will clue them in to the imminent arrival of their first cycle. Being aware of these stages and changes can support your kid in feeling confident and in control and alleviate anxiety and worry. It can also help you prepare them for what is to come.
Periods are not the first stage of puberty
Prior to the arrival of that first period, a few body changes will have already happened. Most tweens will have already seen some breast development as the first stage of the puberty process. Pubic hair will have appeared in their vulva area, and under their armpits. Usually they will have already gone through a significant growth spurt and gotten a lot taller.
It’s only after these body changes have happened that the puberty process turns its energies to starting up the menstrual cycle.
Bear in mind, that puberty begins at different ages for different kids. You can make a guess and when it will likely happen based on the age their biological mom got their first period, as it tends to repeat as a pattern through children. The average age of menarche (that’s the science term for the first period) is around 12, but it can start as early as 8.
Usually periods begin about two years after breast development begins. Once the process begins, it unfolds pretty predictably and can help you and your tween feel more connected to the changes and more prepared for the next stage.
The clues that the first period will arrive soon: vaginal discharge
Tweens will likely start seeing whitish vaginal discharge or fluid in their underwear up to a year before they get their first period, but in the four to six weeks immediately before the period arrives, this vaginal discharge will change, become more obvious, thicker, gloopier and there will likely be more of it.
This happens because before your tween experiences their first menstruation, they will ovulate. Ovulation necessarily precedes menstruation. No ovulation, no menstruation. There can be other types of bleeding but it won’t be menstruation without ovulation.
Hormone shifts and production around ovulation triggers the cervix to start producing cervical fluid. About two weeks before the first period arrives, this fluid might be obvious in their underwear or when they wipe. Lots of kids think this is a sign of an infection or illness and it can cause a lot of anxiety - it’s a good idea to prepare your tween ahead of time and talk this stage through. They may even want to wear a thin period care pad in their underwear if they feel uncomfortable or self-conscious.
Cervical fluid is healthy and your tween can learn to see it as a sign they are in good health and their body is developing as it should. They can also learn to observe its changes so they feel more connected to their changing body and more confident about their menstrual cycles.
Cramps, bloating, PMS: what to expect immediately before the first period
Tweens or teens getting their first period will usually have a similar experience to adults in the few days before that period arrives. They may have cramps, bloating, and experience mood swings: increased feelings of anger or sadness or feeling sensitive.
Most periods come with some signs a few days ahead of time, although this is different for every one and can change cycle to cycle. The symptoms and signs we experience related to our cycles and periods have a correlation to our diet, our stress levels, and our overall wellness. As time goes on your tween and teen can develop strategies to deal with cramps, bloating etc, and notice what causes these symptoms to be more severe.
Preparing for the first period, together
With these signs and clues in mind, you can prepare your tween or teen for their first period ahead of time. This way they won’t have to deal with their first period at school or on a sleepover alone and without any period care products. Once your tween begins developing breasts and grows pubic hair, you know the countdown has begun. You may have up to two years before the first period arrives, or it may be slightly sooner.
Your sign to start packing a period kit to take to school and sleepovers is when a whitish vaginal discharge appears in their underwear. As you get closer to the expected start, you could suggest ways to celebrate or ways to help your kid avoid having to deal with things that might be challenging during their first period like a trip away, a pool party, or competing in a sports competition. Of course, all of these things can be done while menstruating, but keeping their schedule clear to approach the first period in a relaxed and restful way might be a good idea.
