Are you concerned that your child isn’t prepared for starting their period?
Maybe you want your kid to have a better first period than you did; or maybe they have just started asking questions. Either way, it’s a good idea to start talking about periods and preparing your child practically ahead of time, rather than waiting for that first period to appear. You can gauge when your child will likely get their first period by keeping connected on the puberty signs they are experiencing. Breast development and pubic hair growth tends to begin around two years prior to menarche (the technical word for the first period).
1. Start planning earlier than you might think
Puberty body changes can begin around eight or nine years of age, with the average age for getting the first period being 12. So you will be preparing your child for their first period before you might even consider them a tween. But sharing age-appropriate information at different points will make sure they are mentally prepared and give you a good foundation of communication around any puberty changes that worry or concern them. It’s better to do this early than wait for periods to happen first, otherwise your child will likely experience their first period as a stressful, embarrassing, or shameful moment. You cannot control how your child’s peers react to their periods, but you can prepare your child so that their own understanding of periods is positive, informed, and empowered.
2. Talk about all the period care products
There are more period care products to choose from than ever before and shopping for your period can be fun! Many tweens and teens enjoy period panties which can now be bought online in a variety of sizes, colours, and patterns to suit their tastes and interests. Period panties can be used at the same time as pads or tampons or a menstrual cup, as added protection against leaks (or, on their own). Pads may also be a comfortable option for kids just starting their periods. They can see when they need to be changed, and may feel more confident with the process when alone or at school. Tampons are convenient for kids involved in sports, but may be a learning curve. Teaching your kid how to use tampons (or any period care products) before they get their first period is essential. A menstrual cup, while an option for teens (and there are specific sizings of cups for younger ages) might be an option they’d like to try as they get used to the routine of periods and are perhaps looking for a product that doesn’t need changing as often (say for long school trips, vacations, or during other inconvenient times).
3. Pack a period kit for school
It’s very likely your child’s first period will come when they are at school. You can help them by creating and putting together a period kit they can take with them to school every day in preparation. What’s in a period kit? You can have some fun with this, but most people use a pencil case, pouch, or small purse and fill it will period care products (say, a few pads and/or a pair of period panties), some cleansing wipes in case of leaks, and a fresh pair of underwear (again in case of leaks). Fun additions might be a little first period celebration note, candy, a treat of some kind to brighten their day…you can decide together what might be helpful and supportive. If your child takes a bag to school they can keep the kit in there or they can keep it in their locker. They may also want to keep a sweater or hoodie in their locker that they can use to tie around their waist in case leaks happen and they’d rather others not know. Remind them to take a kit to sleepovers or on any vacations too.
4. Explain why we get periods
Instead of just shrugging and dismissing periods as a nuisance, annoying, and something we just have to put up with, you can help your kid by explaining why periods happen and giving them some positive context. First periods can be the start of mental health issues for tweens and teens, including depression, anxiety, low self-esteem and poor body image, but mentally preparing them and giving them reasons to feel excited, proud, or even just neutral about getting a period can prevent some of this from becoming inevitable. Talking about periods from a wellness perspective and explaining that menstrual cycles, hormones, and puberty development work together to make your kid stronger, help them feel good, and become who they truly are! Choose tools that support your kid in viewing periods as healthy. Teaching them about the whole cycle can help them feel connected to their body, rather than just dealing with a period every month.
5. Don’t forget dads
You might be a dad reading this (if so, hello!), but often period talk falls to moms, aunts, and sisters. It’s easy to forget to include dads, but getting dad clued up on when the first period might happen, and getting them on board with the same positive, informed, empowered messaging you want your child to keep in mind when entering this stage, can be really helpful for everyone involved. Make periods a normal part of growing up, nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of, and your child will be in a much better position to go out into a world that can be negative about periods (kids that will tease her, teachers that will tell her it's a curse, aunts that will tell her horror stories) with more confidence, calm, and strength. Arm them with education and they will feel less self-conscious. Consider also including any siblings in discussions once your child is prepared, so they don’t feel that they have to keep their periods a secret at home.
